Building Faith At Home to Soothe Your children’s Anxiety
“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” —Hebrews 11:8
My city, Seattle, has recently reopened to full capacity. Like other cities and states in the country, businesses and churches can reopen to full capacity—no longer hosting restricted gatherings with 50 percent capacity. As a pastor, I’ve been ready to take this step for a while. But I’ve seen the anxieties of many who have concerns about returning to a familiar-yet-new normal.
As a parent, I’ve also seen anxiety in my young kids. Mask-wearing and social distancing over the past year have finally become familiar to them. What was once unfamiliar is now what’s normal and expected, even comforting. Telling my kids to remove their masks in public has resulted in subtle anxiety for them because they’ve grown comfortable living this way.
Of course, when you are a parent of young children, any decision you make is met with a slew of questions. My oldest son Gabriel takes the award for the most questions asked during any given situation. His questions are good—a reflection of how his heart is grappling with the move from familiar to unfamiliar.
Changes like these are at best adventures and at the worst anxious rollercoasters of what-ifs. It’s like leaving a comfortable residence to move to a new city. The changes come with many questions: “What will it be like? Where will I live? Will anything be the same?”
“When faced with questions about where we are going, it’s crucial for Christian families to remember the God who first directed our steps.”
I am sure Abraham faced similar questions when God called him to leave everything he knew and go live in unfamiliar territory. When faced with questions about where we are going, it’s crucial for Christian families to remember the God who first directed our steps.
Our God does not ask us to move forward without first reminding us to look back at where his gracious hands have been. The best vision of our past experiences is one that looks through the smudge marks left by God’s fingers.
As we look back, his work is sometimes obvious. At other times, it’s not. There are many moments of grace that God, in his sovereignty, leaves hidden—at least for a time. But whether we see his work or not, we can know without a doubt that he is there moving, speaking, inspiring, and breathing life into us, despite our ever-changing emotions and anxieties.
Parents, we can soothe our children’s sincere anxieties by reminding them of God’s faithfulness in midst of change. When we do, we’re building a legacy of faith.
“Our God does not ask us to move forward without first reminding us to look back.”
When our family felt God’s call to move from Guam to Seattle, our son Gabe (then age 3) was quick to ask why we were leaving. What seemed on the surface to be curiosity was his interest in how we responded to this new move. To him, the move itself was irrelevant. It was our experience of the process that mattered most. If we were stressed, frequently doubting God, arguing, and letting our emotions fog the future, he’d learn to see following God’s direction negatively. To the mind of a little one, faith in God’s guidance would be perceived as what brings stress, not joy. His reaction to the move typically echoed our own faith in God’s direction. When Amy and I observed this, we realized right away that the ways we would respond to anxiety were leaving a legacy—one that either pointed Gabe toward faith in God’s grace or away from it.
As a result of watching Gabe, we began to ask, How can we build a legacy of faith that soothes our children’s anxiety?
Genesis and Hebrews give us insight into how Abraham had faith to obey God in spite of his questions and concerns. Abraham “was looking forward to the city not made with human hands” (Heb. 11:10) by remembering God’s promises in the past to “make of you a great nation, bless you, and make your name great so that you will be a blessing” (Gen. 12:2). In other words, Abraham shows us that looking back on God’s past grace in our lives gives us faith to look forward to the future grace that he will give us when we’re in unfamiliar territory. Faith that looks back upon God’s past grace makes our new adventures secure, joyful, and exciting. Looking back helps us to have hope, cast our anxieties on God, and walk toward the future he has determined (1 Pet. 5:7).
Even though we were moving to a city where we had lived before, our move back from Guam to Seattle still raised questions for our family. Our lives had changed in Guam, and we felt like different people. Leaving a place with one newborn and arriving again with three kids will do that to you!
But at least part of what we experienced is common to all big changes. I see something similar in my kids now as they move from a quarantine lifestyle into post-pandemic life. The once familiar territory seems new, daunting, and even a little scary.
But as we talk through our anxieties, cling to God’s faithfulness, and look forward to his future provision, we find comfort. C.H. Spurgeon said it this way,
“Has not God done it and proved himself a Sovereign? And must we not see in this that God in some way or other has fixed our destiny, from the very fact that the opening bud of life is entirely in his hands? It does seem rational that since God appointed the commencement of our existence, there should be some evidence of his control in the future parts of it.”
So, if you’re kids are struggling with anxiety—and if you’re feeling the same worry over life’s what-ifs—take some time to remember God’s past grace in your life. Share your testimony with your kids. Tell them about a time when he showed up for you. And build a legacy of faith for your family. Look back, see his fingerprints and allow those smudge marks to soothe the questions you have about the future. Allow his grace to move you from anxiety to joy, from concern to worship, and from doubt to an enduring legacy of faith.