Don't Sweat It! - How Parents Can Embrace Big Questions
Caught Off Guard
“Mom, Dad … is God real?”
Have you ever been asked that question? How would you answer if your child popped that on you at dinner, right before bedtime, or while you’re raking leaves with them on a windy autumn day?
Questions like this shouldn’t alarm or threaten us as parents. They should be cause for a quick little jig of merriment (metaphorically speaking, of course). These types of spiritual questions show that our kids are beginning to wrestle with deep, important truths that will shape their lives. We should welcome them!
But the question about God’s existence is particularly important. Before kids start learning about all the 50-cent theological words like justification, sanctification and glorification, they need to start with the basics—believing that there’s a God in heaven who created them, loves them, and has a beautiful plan for their lives. Even if he remains invisible to us for now, we can trust that he’s there. There’s no more essential building block of the faith.
Laying the Foundation
So how can we help kids believe in a God they can’t see? Should we squeeze a weeklong Theology 101 class in between snack time and PAW Patrol? Should we require 20-minute recitations of the Westminster Shorter Catechism every time they want to play outside? Eh, probably not. Instead, let’s be on the lookout for natural, everyday moments we can use to help our kids make vital spiritual connections between life and faith.
“Sometimes our kids will fire those whopper questions at us randomly. But there are plenty of other instances when we can take the initiative, using everyday experiences to point our kids heavenward.”
Young kids are processing enormous amounts of information about the world around them. They have lots of questions, and believe it or not, most of them are not “Are we there yet?” on long car rides. These questions provide an amazing opportunity for us to guide them toward biblical faith. The question for us as parents is, will we be ready for them?
Years ago, during one of our nightly family devotional times, one of my daughters decided to open the theological bomb bay doors and release the payload. “Dad,” she said, “if God knows everything, and he knew what would happen when sin came into the world, why did he allow Adam and Eve to eat the fruit in the first place?”
Alert! Alert! Man the battle stations! Sound the air raid sirens! Head for shelter! INCOMING!!!
My daughter’s question is one that theologians debate in seminaries, and yet it was coming from a little ankle-biter who still needed help tying her shoes! Honestly, I don’t recall everything I said, and I’m certain it would’ve needed some work to make the cut for any Sunday sermon or Th.D. dissertation. But I do remember discussing God’s greatness and his goodness—his ability to work all things for his glory and our good, even our terrible rebellion against him. It was a special moment that I’m grateful we shared together.
Sometimes our kids will fire those whopper questions at us randomly. But there are plenty of other instances when we can take the initiative, using everyday experiences to point our kids heavenward. Not too long ago, one of my other daughters was sharing with me how she was learning about the earth’s water cycle in school. “You know,” I said, “this is just one more piece of evidence for the reality of creation. There’s no way something so intricately detailed and life-sustaining could happen without the presence of a loving, sovereign Creator who perfectly governs his universe.” The conversation was short, and no Scripture was quoted. But I hope it planted one more seed in my daughter’s heart that will blossom into lifelong faith.
Seeking Truth Together
As we walk this faith journey with our kids, there will be plenty of mysteries in life that we simply don’t have all the answers to—and that’s okay. A verse that has been particularly helpful to me, both in my personal walk with the Lord and in leading my kids, is Deuteronomy 29:29. It says, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” God never intended for us to know everything about him. He’s far too great for that. It’s refreshing for us as parents to know that he only expects us to know what he has revealed, and to simply trust him with the rest.
Helping our kids understand that God and his ways are far greater than ours—and sometimes mysterious to us—is a good thing (Isaiah 55:8). If you don’t know the answer to your child’s question, don’t sweat it! Just take that opportunity to open Scripture together: “You know what? I’m not sure. But let’s find out together.” What a powerful teaching moment that can be for your child to join you in opening God’s Word for answers to the big questions of life!
Expect those big questions from your child. They will come! God has designed us with an innate curiosity about his existence and the spiritual matters of life. As Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has put eternity into man’s heart.” In his wisdom, God has uniquely called and equipped you as a parent to be the primary guide for your children, taking advantage of the big and small moments of life to direct their gaze toward him (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). So whether it’s a kite-flying adventure at the park, a (not so) quiet moment before bedtime, or any other time of the day, be ready to point your child to the unseen God whose love rushes toward us like the wind on a gusty autumn day.
I Can’t Believe My Eyes
Come on a kite-flying adventure in this beautifully illustrated, hardback children’s book to explore how we can know that God really does exist. Written by New York Times bestselling author Josh Cooley, this charming and atmospheric tale will immerse you in a conversation between a father and son about the reality of God and how he reveals himself to us. The book also models how you can answer your children’s big questions through everyday life experiences in ways that are natural, fun, and meaningful. You can purchase I Can’t Believe My Eyes here.