Three Resolutions for a Restart on Father's Day
Dad of the Year
I love Father’s Day. Probably because I’m the best dad ever. At least that’s what my family tells me.
Of course, I know this isn’t entirely true. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some “Best Dad Ever” moments over 17 years. Like the time I was convinced to stand in line for 45 minutes to ride a rollercoaster I really didn’t want to, only for my kid to bail at the last second and make me suffer solo. Or this past Mother’s Day, when I had to clean up a salsa bomb that went off in my bedroom when the same son dropped a Mother’s Day omelet tray delivering breakfast in bed. The fact that salsa ended up on the ceiling while the comforter went untouched will go down as a Mother’s Day Miracle in our house. Doubtless, my self-control earned me the mug this year.
Unfortunately, I’ve also had some years where I questioned whether I really earned my annual “Best Dad Ever” swag. Like the years I spent too much time yelling at spills and fretting over how in the world I’m going to pay for the latest mistake my kids made. There were also the angry van rides home and scolding my kids for some inane behavioral requirement they didn’t meet. Who knew making eye contact with an adult would send the best Dad of 2009 into such a tizzy? Ugh. Despite those blemishes, I still got Best Dad that year too. I can still find the photo somewhere on Google to prove it if you doubt me.
Fresh Starts
“Father’s Day and New Years Day both signify the end of one year and the beginning of another. As we turn the page on last year’s successes and failures, we get the opportunity for a fresh start.”
I love Father’s Day because it feels a bit like New Year’s Day. Not because you get to eat cabbage and black-eyed peas, but because it represents a blank page in a scribbled journal. Father’s Day and New Years Day both signify the end of one year and the beginning of another. As we turn the page on last year’s successes and failures, we get the opportunity for a fresh start.
With each passing year I’m convinced that more than a great steak or a new golf club, dads need fresh starts. The good news is that the gospel offers fathers a fresh start, whether we earned it or not. Paul writes this in his letter to the Philippians.
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3:13b-14)
This isn’t just a narrow call to dads on Father’s Day. The apostle Paul is speaking of his aim to experience the full glory of the resurrection with Jesus. The “prize” he presses on toward is what Eugene Peterson famously called “a long obedience in the same direction.” Paul’s desire was to put his sin to death and be with Jesus forever having heard, “well done, good and faithful servant (Matt 25:21).”
This verse reveals a resolve to not keep our eyes focused on the rear-view mirror, but to look ahead at something good and glorious down the road. The past can paralyze us in both our failures as well as our successes. We need a healthy reminder to learn from our mistakes, but instead of reliving “what lies behind,” we can look ahead in faith to what God has in store for us. While New Year’s resolutions can sometimes be forgotten by February, they can also reinvigorate and reimagine what our lives could look like as we move forward in faith.
The Journey Begins
The same can be true for dads this Father’s Day. This year I’m choosing to look forward to what God has called me to as a father, and taking steps to get there. Here are three simple resolutions of priority that I’m planning to share with my sons this weekend.
1. To Love Jesus Best
The word best is important in our house. We’ve got three teenage boys that compete to be the best at everything from NBA 2k to paper wads to taking out the trash. Our family motto is, “Jesus loves you best.” Over the years that motto speaks to the priority of God’s love besting our love for one another, and re-centers us on the main thing. This Father’s Day I’m going to let them know I’m striving to prioritize my love toward Jesus as the best thing I can do for them. My love for and commitment to Jesus will help me love and be committed to them.
2. To Love Mom Fiercely
Momma comes next. Life is really full with our teenagers needing rides everywhere, keeping them clothed and fed, etc. that my priority for my wife can be forgotten. My boys need to know know that our marriage must be fiercely protected if I’m to be the man God’s called me to be. If I’m going to love and serve them well, it’s crucial that I stay connected to their mom. I’m committed to experiencing all of their lives that I can (sports, recitals, events, trips, etc.), but I’m going to miss a few things so I can stay connected to your mom too. We want you to see sparks of love, affection, and care, not just the stress that parenting and a demanding calendar often bring. Our commitment to each other helps us stay committed to loving, serving, and shepherding you well.
3. To Love Kids Relentlessly
This is one of my favorite things to tell them because it’s a reminder of my story of God’s love. Luke’s gospel gives us the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), and I’ve found myself in that story. I’ve been a stubborn runaway many times in my life, but God’s relentless love has found me time and time again. He celebrates when I come home to him, and shows me the difference between eating the pig slop I’ve earned, and enjoying the feast of grace that he provides. While I will never match that love he has for my sons, I long to imitate it the best I can. I want to keep my boys from the slop, and show them what it looks like to feast on the grace of God. I won’t do this perfectly, but forgetting those times I don’t, I press on to do it the best I can.
Resolved to Rest in His Grace
These resolutions call me to rely completely on the grace of God and not my own ability. At the cross, Jesus has paid for every mistake I have made. It’s his grace that will fuel every attempt at keeping these resolutions. Paul also told the Colossian church that God has “forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross (Col 2:13-14).” This is why we can move forward as dads into the unknowns of a new year. We are forgiven. We can set aside the past because Jesus has set aside our sins. The gospel makes the future brighter than a thousand self-reliant hopes.
I don’t know for certain what I’m getting this year for Father’s Day (I think it might be some white Lacoste sneakers, but we’ll see), but I don’t think the best gift will come in a box. Instead, it’ll be a fresh start with these resolutions set before me. Let’s start together.
Editors note: I couldn’t find a stock photo of Lacoste sneakers to include here, so the white Nike’s will have to do.