How to Help Your Kids Love Their Church

Children belong in church (Deut. 12:12), and adults should want them to be there. In fact, parents should insist on it. Like Abraham, Joshua, and Cornelius we should make critical spiritual decisions for our families (Gen. 18:19; Josh. 24:15; Acts 10:24). Parents, bring your kids to church!

But as they grow, our children should want to be in church. Mandatory church attendance is a good family rule, but not the long-term goal. The goal is for our children to echo the old hymn, “I love thy church, O God … For her my tears shall fall, for her my prayers ascend; to her my cares and toils be giv’n, ‘til toils and cares shall end.” Spiritually immature people need to be compelled to come to church; mature people do it joyfully. Our children may not understand the importance of congregational life, but at the earliest age we should be working to help our kids love their church. How can we do that?

Be Clear About Purpose

Why do Christians gather regularly instead of practicing their faith individually? Of course, corporate worship is modeled (Acts 15:30), commanded (Heb. 10:25), and explained (1 Cor. 14:26-40) throughout the Bible. But for what purpose? Why should they be excited to go to church? We gather primarily for worship, discipleship, service, and fellowship, and we can help them understand why that matters.

Worship

Regularly remind your kids that they aren’t simply going to church to check a box or fill a seat. They are meeting with God. It’s not about them going to a location, but what they’re doing while they’re there. Psalm 8:2 tells us that the worship of children is valuable. Children can’t not worship; they show devotion to all sorts of things. Having them in church helps remind them that sincere worship pleases God and brings deep joy to believers. (Ps. 122:1).

Discipleship

Our goal shouldn’t be cramming religious facts into our kids, but to disciple them to be more like Jesus. Like adults, children are in a war for their souls. Hearing sermons, participating in Sunday school, and learning about Jesus helps train them for the battle at hand. If they live according to the flesh, they will die. But if, by the Spirit they put to death the deeds of the body and renew their minds, they will live (Rom. 8:13). Christian parents should remind their children that they must learn to follow Jesus, and give them practical instructions on how to hear God’s word.

Service

Service is simply looking out for others’ interests (Phil. 2:4). Children should begin to serve the church as soon as they’re mature and able, and that’s probably earlier than you think. Too many worshipers believe they come to church to be served rather than to serve. This error is best avoided by good training at an early age. Service opportunities are almost limitless. Kids and students can help set up for and clean up after congregational meals, visit the elderly with their parents, greet worshipers, or make cards for the sick and lonely. Let’s help our children begin serving so young that, as they grow, they can’t imagine any other way.

Fellowship

We don’t come to church primarily to see friends, but the church is a holy family of fathers, brothers, mothers, and sisters (1 Tim. 5:1). Only here do we have eternal friendships. Christianity provides social opportunities and makes social demands. Our children must develop a burden for knowing and loving the members of their congregation.

Help Them Form Relationships

Parents have a responsibility to see that their children are forming meaningful church relationships so that they learn to love the church as their truest family. In the book of Proverbs a father tells his son how to live to God’s glory (e.g. Prov. 5:1). The father says a lot about his son’s relationships and how they will help shape the kind of man he will become. The father is involved in his son’s social life. As parents and social shepherds, we must help our kids make room in their hearts for other church members (2 Cor. 7:2).

One way to help children form church relationships is by including them in our hospitality. While there is a place for stage-of-life discipleship, children need to form spiritual friendships outside of their peer groups. Hospitality can bring to life Scripture’s identification of church mothers and fathers. In addition to hospitality we should help our children prioritize church friends. Children will have friends outside of their church, but for them to know spiritual brotherhood and sisterhood they need shared experiences. Finally, we should help our children be spiritually open in their friendships.. We should encourage them  to share their joys, fears, opinions, convictions, dreams, and faith with their believing and non-believing friends. Restricted affections make for stunted Christians (2 Cor. 6:12).

Set a Good Example

Our children should know that going to church is a privilege, not a chore. If we want them to catch God’s vision for vibrant church membership we must practice it ourselves. William Gouge reminds us that “Example … adds a sharp edge to admonition.” Telling your children to do something is good, but showing them yourself is much more effective.

“Duty—an important and often overlooked discipline—can reveal parental integrity, but it doesn’t always convey our passion.”

We need to pass along to our kids more than religious habits. Duty—an important and often overlooked discipline—can reveal parental integrity, but it doesn’t always convey our passion. Our kids won’t be impressed by our habits if they don’t learn from us the joy and beauty of committing to Christ’s church.. Paul—speaking as a spiritual parent to his children—isn’t shy in sharing his costly obedience. He wants us to know that he suffered because he knew and trusted God completely (2 Tim. 1:12). Paul’s habit of serving God was driven by his passion for the gospel (10). Passion is more contagious than a bare habit.

Parents, be careful what you project. Harassing your kids to get to church on time may reveal your commitment to duty, but it won’t help them love the church. Grumbling about your church—its members, leaders, or direction—can send dangerous mixed-messages. Christian parents must encourage their children to follow the pattern of the sound words and actions that they have learned from us (2 Tim. 1:13).

Pray With Them and For Them

Loving the church is supernatural. It always has been. Especially today, when the church is no longer the center of social life, promoting a love for the church is even more challenging. We must pray. 

Our most important prayer is that our children would love Jesus, the head of the church. It would be a weird tragedy if our kids grew up to love the church, but not love Jesus. The two should go together. When Paul exhorted the Ephesian elders to shepherd the flock, he reminded them that God obtained it with his own blood (Acts 20:28). The same argument is good for children. “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25) So, you should love both Christ and his church. As Paul prayed for his “beloved child … constantly … night and day” (2 Tim. 1:2, 3), we should pray that our beloved children would “fan into flame” a life-long, genuine, practical love for the church (6).

Young Timothy needed mature faith to dwell in him, and he needed to guard the good deposit entrusted to him (14). Thankfully, he had good guides (2 Tim. 1:5). Let’s be those good guides for our children, helping them to love, serve, and worship with  their church.